forbid me not, let me run wild.

Friday, August 31, 2007

=( )=

i'm abit grumpy right now;

seriously, teacher's day a day for us student to show our gratitude, and i did that; but in return, i am down with fever and blocked nose;

HOW NICE RIGHT.?

I merely slept for like 5 hours; as i had to wake up damn early to have breakfast with my classmate and i think because of that fact that i'm deprived from sleep, the feeever-weever came knocking onto my head; and the blockydocky came running into my nose;

AND NOW; my mom constantly nags me to get some rest and sleep because she said she feels that i am lethargic, eh what is this world coming to? telepathy you call?
AND she forbids me to dota ! GRRRR; but oh well; im blogging now when she's out for supper with my dad. HAHA; but seriously. i'm a goodboy; i am not dota-ing behind her back. but least she didn't forbid me to blog!

I seriously hope i won't develop a sorethroat! GOSH; of all minor illness, i hate sorethroat; the MOST irritating one of all! so yeah;

Next blog post about teacher's day! so stay tuned ppl. *ponders* when my dear friends will be able to send the pictures to me. My pops' getting me my new toy =) hurhur; a new camera, i'm still thinking if i should get those pro-photographers' nikon camera? but then it's too bulky for me to carry around; ahhh oh well, anyway; fuji's camera suck big time? it spoils easily though it looks quite sexy. hurhur; oh well! stay tuneee ppl!

poison ivy
11:14 PM

Friday, August 24, 2007

EXAM'S OVER

TAKE THAT! all you people who made me feel envious just because you ended your examinations DAYS earlier than me. I feel like post-o levels again! HURHUR

OKAY. HOW ABOUT 4 CONSECUTIVE PAPERS, DAY AFTER DAY; ONE AFTER ANOTHER, FROM a very dry CIP, TO BUSINESS STATISTICS TO INTRODUCTION TO FIN'L ACCOUNTING TO MICROECONOMICS.

GOSHGOSHGOSH; THEY NEARLY KILLED ME! DAMN. I think i kind of screwed up for microeconomics! HAHAHA. SHEEEEEEEESH; but oh well. i think i lost like 8 marks just because of that stupid mistakes. THERE goes my AD. damn damn damn. but oh well. at least im glad that the rest of the papers were manageable and hmmm; hopefully i still can get an A for microeconomics! BAHHHHHHHH

heading to laura's place later on; for ambassador's bbq!
anyway; i bought a psp and grrrr. sexy! champagne gold :D
the colour made me so want to buy it after i saw it; and i got it today. LOL :D

ALRIGHT~ I GUESS i'll have SO MUCH TIME IN THE WORLD NOW TO KEEP YOU GUYS entertained for the next 7 weeks; till then, i'll blog like everyday :)

well; well; LOL. i'm into naruto again. HAHAHAHA naruto rocks. dota rocks and of course muah-psp rocks! wooooooh 7 weeks of going out, playing, rotting and not working! hahaha yes. i don't really intend to work unless the wage pay is damn good. i hate miserable pay. my ONE hour is worth more than just simply 5 dollars. HAHAHAHA.

OHHH okay. OHHH okay.

magmagmagmagmagmag stop telling how nice your apartment is in holland with a beautiful garden filled with fresh flowers. i miss you like hell; and do you know that autumn's coming? which means the flowers are all soon going to wither! HAHAHAHA; anyway; yeah. i love you!

<3<3<3<3 to all of you :)

poison ivy
2:46 PM

Monday, August 20, 2007

Finally; the day has arrived.

Bidding farewell at the airport was heart wrenching. Now I say, I wished she didn't go to holland. I miss her like crazy now. I am going to be alone in my room now; nobody is going to come into my room and cry whenever she's upset now. Nobody will bake with me now. All the crazy things we did as siblings; i miss all of them.

I'll probably be mute for the whole of my 2 months holiday at home. Fine; I miss conversing with my sister. I suddenly feel that I lost someone whom i can confide to; without worries.

nownow; at least; the memories are still there... I'll always remember that she taught me how to bake my first ever cheesecake in my whole life and it taste freaking yummy. I find every second hard to swallow now. I am feeling very down while typing this; you can't help it can you? she's my one and only sister. She's my only sibling. She's more than a sister; She's an inspiration. I am really starting to miss the good ol' times we had together.

so much that i think i will most probably bake cheesecake whenever i think of her. Now, i dont know what's getting into me; I feel like crying. The mood is there; but i have no tears. Arrrrrg. When my friends sent their sibling off, they could just get to tears so easily. now i'm envious of them.

make me cry and ill pay you a million dollars.
make me smile and i'll love you forever.

the bottomline is still; I will miss my sister and I do hope she'll be fine in holland; may everything go well for her and well, its normal of human beings, to only miss someone when they left and take them for granted when they're around.

now are you taking anyone for granted? if you are, i reckon you'll feel like me when someone leaves your side.

love ya'll. <3 .

poison ivy
12:35 AM

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME ! [some things you just might not want to know ]

Song on my Playlist : I want you back [ Jackson 5 ]

Now; let's get real and talk about the real deal, and of course that's me! hurhurhur; sometimes people tell me " i think you're quite cute," Thanks but no thanks! Why would the cutest guy around admits that he is just "quite cute ", that's not quite right isn't it. HAHA (=

now you got it right! edmund's self-proclaimed and he's loving it!

Alright; Now; The all-time disgusting creature.
I HATE RATS; HOLY HOLY HOLY; I'll get so paralysed when you tell me there's a rat, and when it's 3 inch away from my feet; I'll jump so high that i think my head will crush into the ceiling. Sorry Celeste; i know you love rats, okay! hamsters [whatever you call it] I just hate rats and rats-look-alike. HAHAHAHA * PONDERS * if popeye's going to catch me when I JUMP! ahahahahhaa.

and of course; the music that I appreciate , I love classical,soul,oldies hurhurhur; like the jackson 5, diana ross, chakakhan and i really really see no sense in Techno? RAP? okay whatever; but i just hate them, you're so not going to find any of them on my Ipod.

The thing i want to do after my examinations; NIGHT CYCLING! FROM EASTCOAST TO BUKIT TIMAH! WHO'S IN FOR IT! HURHURHUR; THE RENT IS DAMN CHEAP 5 BUCKS for 1 night; i can sponser you the bike but only you don't whine about the journey; spare me from the agony! the journey takes like 12-5am? HURHUR; as in, ECP to BT and back to ECP.

booooooo! now the MEMEMEME test is done; i think it's quite an ample entry with substance;
like duh! what do you expect? then again; i'm being self-proclaimed but you know; LIKE WHATEVER~

HURHUR-
LOVES; Edmundo-Eddie

that's like so random =)

poison ivy
10:30 PM

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Still downloading? Beware ! ODEX'S COMING!

Are you still downloading any japanese animation? If you have not read the newspapers, the japanese animation distributor for singapore known as Odex has now won the rights to track down people who downloads these animations illegally. Odex has hit starhub and Singnet. Odex is out for more ! They are now after pacific net.

Under any circumstances, it's the internet service providers' obligation to protect the consumers' information; but its hard when odex are hitting them hard just like flying rocks on a tray of eggs. It is now an official court matter; as the subordinate court ordered the ISP to list out the subscribers who downloaded;

Oh well; the fine ranges from 1000-5000 sgd and a promise to stop downloading. It's too late for you to stop now because you might be the one whom your ISP will list the names out. the chances are perhaps 1/1000 I suppose, but if odex wants to get to the bottom of this matter; more names might be given.

Oh well; I guess this is just a cautionary note from me because I don't download animation myself; hurhur. because i seriously sucked at torrenting and thus, i gave up torrent. oh well; when there's no download, i suppose you could hit http://www.youtube.com/ .

boooooo!

poison ivy
2:45 PM

Monday, August 13, 2007

THANKFUL

I'm thankful to my faith; I'm thankful to my saviour,

Is everything in life going on too well? Have you forgotten about the one who made it all possible when you're flooded with fame & wealth, I'm thankful to perhaps this person who gave me the august issue of the words among us, perhaps; she is already jesus or the holy spirit. The content inside just makes me feel closer and closer to god, my saviour. It drew me closer by the day as i read daily.

Countless amount of gadgets i may own, even though it's given to me by my dad? I'm still thankful to the saviour who made it possible for my dad even though my dad truely believes that it's all about his hardwork that allows him to get to where he is now, true enough. I never rebut and silently nod my head; but i'm still thankful that my sister and my mom are devoted catholics, and my sister recieved the language of the tongue, it all happened when she was at this retreat, when she started muttering a language that she herself don't even know! until the priest told her that she has experienced the holy spirit in her!

Sometimes, i get blinded by all these items that i have. Vanity of vanities; all is vainity. but through the word among us; i've managed to clear off these vanities and allow my saviour to come. He made it all possible, he paved a way for me to walk on, he paid for my wrong. He forgives.

I do believe; fellow catholics'/ christians who are reading this could more or less understand to a certain extent;

to those non-catholics; if you're interested, you could always join us for a mass service at ANY church. our doors will always be opened. Remember; when you lose hope, you still have your faith to rely on. I'm grateful... i really am....

Sometimes i really thank god for giving me such a wonderful sister; we baked yesterday! and it's chocolate swirl marble cheesecake. HURHUR. it turned out pretty well; (=

well, these are the things that we could do before she flies off to holland.. when i said this a month ago, everything still seemed so distant. now it's getting me bad. real bad. ill miss her!!! urhhhgggh, oh well; she taught me how to bake. now i guess i could always bake a chessecake whenever i miss her. HURHUR =) Oh well. the bottomline? EDMUND KNOWS HOW TO BAKE. PERIOD! LOL

poison ivy
5:32 PM

Sunday, August 12, 2007

FASHION VICTIMS?

When people want to look fashionable and edgy, how many of them actually carry it off and how many falls under the "fashion victims " label.

I am quite disgusted when people are oblivious to themselves being labelled as "fashion victims". oh please; if you don't have what it takes, don't go fashionable, go presentable. what's more; if you have zero fashion sense, perhaps you might want to read some high-end catalogue that brings you to a journey you'll never be able to forget for the rest of your life; cause i pretty much believe when you show fashion victicms a high-end catalogue, that will be the FIRST and LAST time they will be flipping through it;

WHY?

it's because they're still living in their own world, pretty much in state of self-denial. Perhaps to some fashion victims out there; " you really should throw all your existing clothes away." They looked SO cheap? like those you'll be getting at a bargain of 3 for 10 dollars? i dont know where you get them, warehouse sale? or what? they look hideous.

oh god. and for goodness sake; IF you dont have HOTLEGS, STOP wearing those BUBBLY dress; they magnify your thighs and legs by so much that you'll end up looking like a human with ENORMOUS elephant's leg. oh well; i didn't want to say this out but then again; i nearly barf when i saw NOT ONE but FOUR fashion victims today, it was so obscence that i couldn't help but notice.

oh well; i shall not continue any further.

poison ivy
12:39 AM

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Does it pain your heart?

It does; it truely does.

When I come across any article,video clips with regards to any form of child abuse, I'll get so mad that I'll crush the whole section of the newspaper; Be it sexual abuse or physical abuse; it pains me so much to just read and you expect one helpless child to even undergo such treatment when all in the world just seem so unfeeling, they are clueless yet innocent. Being oblivious to what's going on, they unknowingly enter a new phrase of life.

Horrifying and cruel memory left within that child. They face constant flashbacks with sleepless nights. please; it tears me apart. I guess; I do love children?

Anyone who strips a child off from its normal childhood should die a painful death; it's just a matter of time before they face the music, its just a matter of time. They are not at any liberty to do so! dumbfucks. As time goes by; will you be able to return them their childhood you once tarnished? impossible. fucktards.

perhaps i'm just being empathetic; whatever you call it, i never thought of empathy being one of my traits. perhaps; i really am; it pains me so so much!.

Anyone keen in doing any orphanage community services? I seriously am. I seriously think i should start doing stuffs that will entice my life even more and I believe community services is a best way to start. Anyone keen in joining me? (=

We humans, wasted time looking for the perfect lover instead of spending time creating the perfect love

poison ivy
10:51 PM

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

LOVE; NO MORE

love is like a stranger to me; i've been single for too long now; I no longer search for warmth and security from love. I'm thankful to everybody who made my life warm and secure. My faith, family members and friends are suffice enough to entice my life; and on top of that, heartbreak has been void ever since I chose not to fall in love.

Everything seemed so near yet so far. I don't know how to love. My tears were long dried up; do you guys know I can't cry any longer ever since my last heartbreak; the crying session carried on for 6 full hours [12am-6am] until my dad barged into my room after hearing sound of me weeping; I didn't tell him anything, the truth hurts.

Ever since, I could no longer cry. I used to cry whenever my dad railed at me, I was once a crybaby; since then, I no longer cry anymore; even when my dad railed at me, even if i faced problems, I could no longer cry...

I tried to cry but to no avail. I tried forcing myself to tears but there wasn't even one drop. I wonder if I got hurt too seriously before. That's why when cameron diaz acted in "The Holiday", I could really relate to her because in that show, she could no longer cry after her dad left her. My dad didnt leave me for sure and never will, but I totally know what she meant when she said she could no longer cry over anything.

Perhaps this is why many people called me unfeeling even at my relative's wake, everybody was weeping, I just walked on solemnly. When I was young, I would tear whenever i saw tears in my mom's eye. This time round, my eyes were so dry.

It hurts so much when people call me unfeeling, cold-blooded. Must people show their tears in order to measure how much they regretted? how much they care? how feeling are they? Is tears the only measure? Is crying the only action to show people that you care?

I very much wanted to; but i just can't i just want to say i really care..
perhaps, this is a good thing after all? when my gurlfriends come calling me in the middle of the night weeping so badly, I am thankful i was no longer in love and i could no longer cry.

Perhaps, one day, a special one could move my heart and make me fall in love again; and maybe i'll experience heartbreak again but that person must be fully worth my time and effort; oh well, forget it. now's not the time for me to harp on this.

BUT people, i do care. i do; i do.

poison ivy
11:14 PM

guess what?

the 3 musketeers met up today!!!!

HURHUR; whenever i'm with them; i just feel so elated! they really have their ways to make me happy. BUT of course, we have been really good and true friends for very long now. years;manymany

HAHA; even though we don't meet on a frequent basis because; we're all busy with our current school-life, but we'll never fail to hit a good conversation or a good time with each other when we're together. We also BITCH real hard when we're with each other!

oh well (= , i really really treasure them! how we talked about our past; how we talked about our sillydoodlesilly times and most importantly, how we grow and change from our past. how we actually remembered each other's sillydoings and when we talk about all these now, we never fail to have a good laugh over it, all these may seem so insignificant to others but it meant a great deal to us! it's never easy to find true friends; but once you found them. they are like a lifelong asset ; they were never a source liability to me. (=

awwww; we're not only mstoh's sweetiepie, but we're each other's sweetie pie as well; HAHAHAHA . YES YES YES; I treasure the both of you; Amanda and Cindy. thanks for everything, the fun, the advices and many more that you had given me every meetup; LOVE YA'LL! (

its time for pictures (=

FINALLY; we decided to take neoprints together; THE TRIO just gotta do this together cause we never done this before; but rest assured i wasn't involved in the design, i'm good at posing for the camera but definitely not design the neoprints! HURHUR. It's not as if we forgot to bring our cameras; didn't i mention that the trios also love taking pictures? like LOTS of them? (= HURHURHUR. CAMWHORES . JUST LOOK!

Cindy & Me; so vintage; cindy's smile is a classic!

COLLAGE OF THE TRIOS.

BOTTOMLINE?

WE ARE SIMPLY CLASSIC!

bang; they are so loved. now don't get jealous :)

poison ivy
12:54 AM

Monday, August 6, 2007

seriously; don't know why is such a depressing song.

boooo!!! enough of all these emo stuffs already!

do you guys know that my sister and i finished 1 whole freaking bottle of redwine yesterday... well; i drank more than half a bottle. but oh well, it still wasn't potent enough to knock me out. seriously; we DID thought of opening a 2nd bottle but we were so bloated with liquid and we decided not to,

OKAY the aftermath!
after drinking, you know you'll feel a little wee bit high; so i got Jaysen to call me. and we chatted on the phone. oh well. i think alcohol helps? at least; a tiny bit. I want to get drunk but to no avail.

oh well; shucks. byeee....
im meeting amanda later. so g2g .

poison ivy
9:33 AM

Saturday, August 4, 2007

LOL. chatting with joan lee never goes wrong! it simply makes your day and HAHAHAHA. she's so sweet; she actually promise me that she won't change her nick until sunday as she added "edmund is such a cute boy " on it which i didn't bother to actually screen it. hahaha yes; i'm cute and i don't have to flaunt it. =)

LOL. alright. i'm so self-proclaimed. but whatever =)

JOAN'S A CUTE GIRL. AHAHAHHAA SHE'S MY SECONDARY SCH CLASSMATE lurh! LOL.

we're so going to hangout during the hols. I DONT CARE! =) BOOOOOOOO JOAN MADE MY DAY.

now; what about you?

poison ivy
12:26 PM

Friday, August 3, 2007

life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that took our breath away.
this sentence left me dazzled for short moment.

reminiscence of all the moments that really did took my breath away just lingers around my brain for minutes, perhaps half an hour?

really; these moments that left me breathless.

i thank you people for giving me such wonderful moments. [ i ain't going to post them all cause i think it'll take days to finish posting and that includes digging up pictures ]

so how many moments took your breath away?

poison ivy
11:54 PM

Through A Glass, Darkly - Jostein Gaarder

A highly inspirational book. A girl, named Cecilia is down with a terminal illness; She had no white christmas; she was limited to almost everything that a normal being could do, She was visited by Angel Ariel and through many engaging conversations, she finally understood and accepted that death was inevitable. She finally passed on and flew with Angel Ariel to heaven...

There's no reasons that I could think of to tell you why you shouldn't read this book.

I very much want to be myself. I am awaiting for this day to come where i can free myself from the facade that I put on to face every single of you. Disturbed by thoughts of you not being able to take the blow just kills the thought of me being myself. I longed for freedom. I longed to be normal. I longed to be with you, butbutbut i'm tied down by a hundred factors that i shall not name...

please tell me what should i do; i just feel so lost.
you caused my sky to turn so grey

Perhaps, I should be like Cecilia, learning to accept and come to terms with things that just don't go/feel right.

Through the glass, darkly best describes how i feel.

A toast to Jostein Gaarder for penning such a beautiful piece of work.

poison ivy
3:25 PM

Thursday, August 2, 2007

I was supposed to post this on Wednesday however, as time forbids me to do so, i had to drag it all the way till today! alright! I headed down to Fuhua Secondary School for Ambassador's Duties; Career booth.

My Partners in crime! *grins* .... Kenny and Thoma!

Well. that's thoma and me. As usual, we had fun doing duties!

That's me and the man of the day;kenny as he was the only senior. Kudos to him for taking up both the morning and afternoon session slot =) my eyes looked so small in this picture; oh well, thoma! BAD SHOT! LOL

After Camwhoring, we went up to the school hall and watched Mr J.K Tan performed his magician tricks and he never fails to come up with new magic trick each time; he's from the ECE division. Probably the only magician in Ngee Ann. hurhurhur.

Love to all! =)

poison ivy
6:19 PM

JOAN - For a really close friend, this song was recorded by my sister and her friends for joan chanshufang. Joan was a brave warrior fighting against cancer while she's alive. She has now passed on. However, her fighting spirit still burns alive and has inspired many people who is still alive up till today. She will be remembered and loved by many. It has been almost one and a half year since she passed on.

Lyrics:

Joan pleases don’t go
there are many things that i would like to know
that’s getting hard for you to show
the way day by day
we've travelled miles and miles through deep turnstiles
so many softball slides and daffodils
and played

though it hurts
though you smile
looking back right now
i don’t really care
just want you to know
that I’ve been thinking about you almost everyday
until I find the words to say
but nowjust want you to know
that ive been thinking about you nearly everyday
until i find the words to say
i know you’re hurting now
but we'll make it through somehow
wont we Joan

Joan say you'll stay
there are many things that i would like to say
that I forgot to mention yesterday
the way day by day
we've travelled miles and miles through deep turnstiles
so many softball slides and daffodils
and played

now it hurts
though you smile
looking back right now
i don’t really care just want you to know
that I’ve been thinking of you nearly everyday
until I find the words to say
now just want you to knowthat I’ve been thinking about you nearly everyday
until I find the words to say
i know you’re hurting now
but we'll make it through somehow

wont we Joan
wont we Joan
just soldier on (x3)
wont we Joan-oh-oh-ohh
wont we Joan

On a personal note : this song is really beautiful, the melody and lyrics are perfect. The lyrics can be intepreted as a love song too. Beautiful masterpiece isn't it?

poison ivy
9:50 AM