love is like a stranger to me; i've been single for too long now; I no longer search for warmth and security from love. I'm thankful to everybody who made my life warm and secure. My faith, family members and friends are suffice enough to entice my life; and on top of that, heartbreak has been void ever since I chose not to fall in love.
Everything seemed so near yet so far. I don't know how to love. My tears were long dried up; do you guys know I can't cry any longer ever since my last heartbreak; the crying session carried on for 6 full hours [12am-6am] until my dad barged into my room after hearing sound of me weeping; I didn't tell him anything, the truth hurts.
Ever since, I could no longer cry. I used to cry whenever my dad railed at me, I was once a crybaby; since then, I no longer cry anymore; even when my dad railed at me, even if i faced problems, I could no longer cry...
I tried to cry but to no avail. I tried forcing myself to tears but there wasn't even one drop. I wonder if I got hurt too seriously before. That's why when cameron diaz acted in "The Holiday", I could really relate to her because in that show, she could no longer cry after her dad left her. My dad didnt leave me for sure and never will, but I totally know what she meant when she said she could no longer cry over anything.
Perhaps this is why many people called me unfeeling even at my relative's wake, everybody was weeping, I just walked on solemnly. When I was young, I would tear whenever i saw tears in my mom's eye. This time round, my eyes were so dry.
It hurts so much when people call me unfeeling, cold-blooded. Must people show their tears in order to measure how much they regretted? how much they care? how feeling are they? Is tears the only measure? Is crying the only action to show people that you care?
I very much wanted to; but i just can't i just want to say i really care.. perhaps, this is a good thing after all? when my gurlfriends come calling me in the middle of the night weeping so badly, I am thankful i was no longer in love and i could no longer cry.
Perhaps, one day, a special one could move my heart and make me fall in love again; and maybe i'll experience heartbreak again but that person must be fully worth my time and effort; oh well, forget it. now's not the time for me to harp on this.
BUT people, i do care. i do; i do.
poison ivy
11:14 PM
ABOUT HIM
his name is EDMUND CHRISTOPHER ng
Someone who cares alot about his friends, someone who is always happy infront of all his friends;
he'll never allow any of his friends to experience what he's been going through; for the fear of them being hurt.
with that, he puts on a facade , he always appear jovial and cheerful infront of his friends.
they'll never know that, another side lives within him. He'll always want to see his loved ones being happy, it makes his day.
Someone who loves talking; he could order a cup of fine earl grey or smoothie and chat with his friends till the end of time.He
loves fresh salad, he don't mind eating them for the rest of his life.
Edmund is sometimes said to be dominant; he wants result to the extent that he can be really scary. Edmund treasures what he has,
his family and his friends.
Sometimes, he wished he could show his emotions to people whom he knows care about him, he has never done that; he's always looked
upon as strong among his friends. He's always looked upon as the mature and serious one; he can get childish at times, also, he'll
also feel lethargic. He's someone who gets paranoid easily.
Edmund loves shopping; he could be in a shopping spree for mainly 2 reasons; a)shopping with good companions, b) bad mood
having said so much, he's not. abnormal; he's just like any ordinary boy.
